


The Life We Leave Behind

by AedricDaedra



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls Online
Genre: Existential Crisis, F/M, Family, Fate & Destiny, Fate Worse Than Death, Learning how to use your power, Loss of Identity, Reluctant Hero
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-06 15:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15888618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AedricDaedra/pseuds/AedricDaedra
Summary: Before Leodes became the Vestige he was a simple guard with a wife and son. Having just escaped Coldharbour, and unwilling to accept that he died, he returns to his family, hoping to return to his simple but happy life. But what to him has only been a week, to them has been 4 years. This is the story of the Vestige's struggle to accept his destiny and leave his old life behind him.





	1. Prologue: I Can't Be Dead

_Not much longer now and I'll be home Minyth, my love. The plan my friends and I have made has worked, and we have returned to Nirn. Thinking of you and Demyth is the only thing that kept me alive during my captivity in Coldharbour, knowing that you were home and safe, with our son. Even after all the torture, the Daedra put me through, I can't imagine how painful this past week must have been for you, not knowing what happened to me. Soon I'll be able to talk to you in person once again, rather than only through this makeshift journal._

* * *

"And so, it falls to us. We must stop Molag Bal and his Dark Anchors, or our world is doomed." the Prophet speaks with a serious and daunting tone.

The Imperial man sitting before him scratches his scraggily unkept beard and stares vacantly into the distance, with a makeshift journal clasp in his hand, giving no response.

After some seconds the silence is broken by the blind Prophet. "And yet, something else ails you, Vestige." He says it as a statement, rather than a question.

The Vestige, who wears naught but the rags of a prisoner, takes a moment to realize that he is referring to him. He looks at the Prophet. "You can call me Leodes, you know. I know you like keeping things mysterious by calling yourself the Prophet and all, but I prefer my given name."

The Prophet says nothing in regards to this, and Leodes continues looking vacantly into the distance, until he himself is annoyed with the silence, and admits what's bothering him.

Leodes sighs. "It's just...I know we didn't really have any time to talk about this before, what with trying to escape that hell hole and all – which I'm extremely grateful for - but...you keep making it sound like I'm supposed to be this mighty hero needed to save the world or something."

He pauses and looks away with a guilty expression. "I can't be that hero, Prophet, I'm sorry." He chuckles.

"I'm just a town guard. I stop thieves and back alley thugs, not Daedric Princes vying for world domination. Besides, I have a family to protect and provide for. I can't just leave them to go off on some grand adventure, and to be honest – I have no desire to get involved with any more Daedric schemes. Spending a week as a prisoner in Coldharbour was enough for me to last several lifetimes." He laughs lightly. Leodes flips through the pages in his journal to distract himself.

The prophet sighs and sits down in his chair. The creaking sound echoes in the cavern they reside in. Water drops into a puddle, and some bats fly away from their perch.

"I understand. It is always difficult to accept one's destiny, Vestige. Especially one such as yours, but it is still your destiny and yours alone. Despite your prior life's commitments and your limited experience in battle, I believe you were chosen for this for a reason. The visions I saw from the Elder Scrolls clearly showed you at the center of these events."

Leodes scoffs and shakes his head in disbelief. "Well, I'm honored that you think I'm so special, but your visions must have been wrong. There's nothing special about me, certainly not enough that could make a difference in a war against a Daedric Prince. That's not self-pity, that's just a fact."

"That's not true. Out of all of the Soul Shriven that Molag Bal created, you were the one accidental success he was not expecting. Something about you made him fear you. I know because of my connection to him when I was in his prison. I could feel his emotions, and sometimes his thoughts, as he did mine. Did you not wonder why you looked different from the rest of the Soul Shriven, or why you were kept away separately, guarded so heavily, and experimented on constantly?"

Leodas sighs heavily and looks straight at the Prophet's unseeing eyes. "Oh, not this again. I told you already...I'm not dead, okay? I'm not a Soul Shriven. I still have my soul. I may look half dead and in need of a shave, but I assure you I am one hundred percent alive. My mind is my own. I feel emotions. I feel the need to eat, drink and sleep. I feel warmth and cold. I bleed, heal normally and still feel pain - I should know, I felt a lot of it during those experiments, and why can't they have just been torture for torture's sake? It's not like a Daedra needs much reason for it, it's a source of amusement for them."

The Prophet squints and points a finger in the air toward Leodes. "Vestige, the fact that you still look and feel so alive, is the very reason they were so interested in you. What exactly that changes about you I do not know yet, but the Daedra seemed to have an idea. It is up to you to figure that out, for whatever it is may make the difference in our efforts to stop Molag Bal."

Leodes shrugs. "I don't know what else to tell you, Prophet. I'm still the same, very much still alive, me. I'm still Leodes, who is both a father and a husband, and a Daggerfall guard who is very, very late for my post, while my family is probably worried sick about me. I need to get back to my life and enjoy what few years I still have left before the world ends if anything about what you said is true. I'll use what connections I have to get you an audience with my King, and maybe he'll even pass on the word to Emeric in Wayrest. The Daggerfall Covenant can help you get Lyris back, and do more to stop Molag Bal than any one single town guard could do."

Leodes stands up and starts walking to leave the cavern. The Prophet sighs in frustration and calls out to him.

"Going to see your family now will only put them in more danger, Vestige. Molag Bal's minions will not stop their attempts to capture you and return you to Coldharbour."

"No, you're wrong. I can't protect them if I'm sitting out in a cavern hiding from them. I need to be with them, and there's nothing you could say that will change my mind. Now, goodbye."

As the imperial man in tattered rags nearly leaves the cavern, the Prophet speaks under his breath. "I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me for this, Leodes." The Prophet raises his staff toward him. "Akular obliviate soth dolibix."


	2. Homecoming

Leodes looks up, wide-eyed in happiness at the sight of the city of Daggerfall. It may not be the city he was born in, but it will always be the one he calls home. The city he pledged his service to, under King Casimir. The city he was married in, with his beloved wife Minyth, and where he intends to raise his son, Demyth.

He breathes in the scent of the woodlands as he approaches the bridge to the city. A cacophony of sounds strings a song to welcome him home. The waterfalls crashing into the rocks, birds chirping, children playing and mothers chasing them to keep them out of trouble. The high grey stone walls that surround the city look almost silver against the light of the bright sun and clear sky. A stream of traders and travelers walk across the bridge, but Leodes squeezes through, all while looking for some familiar faces, but none yet have caught his eye.

_Daggerfall is a large city, after all._

He has lived here for several years now, and he still meets new citizens every day at his guard post and even more travelers.

By the gate stands a few tents with what looks like soldiers doing exercises of various sorts, and a long line of people stand before desks with people signing papers. A blue banner with the crest of the Lion Guard rests atop a pole sticking out of the ground next to it.

_Strange, I don't remember seeing that there last week, and I thought the Lion Guard had a very exclusive membership. What are they recruiting so many soldiers for?_

As he passes by he overhears some of the drill sergeants shouting various commands, but one thing he says stands out in particular.

"C'mon soldiers. Put some backbone into it! You're Covenant warriors, not Dominion maggots!"

_Dominion? What's he referring to?_

Distracted by his thoughts, Leodes accidentally bumps into an unsuspecting Breton man ahead of him.

"Oof, sorry man, I didn't mean to-" Leodes starts apologizing until this Breton turns around with an annoyed expression on his face – but one very familiar to him. This dark-haired, hearty-sized bearded Breton with beer stains on his shirt that looks as if he hasn't changed it in weeks, looks him in the eyes angrily, huffs, and then turns back around.

_Albert? Wow, he really let himself go this week._

"Hey, Albert, buddy!" Leodes shouts after him and clasps him on the shoulder. The hand is wrenched free and twisted around by the Breton as he turns to face him with an even more menacing face.

Leodes winces through the pain and strains his voice. "Hey, Albert, let me go. It's me, Leodes. Southern gate first shift, don't you recognize me?"

Albert lets go of his hand and pulls his face close up to Leodes. The stench of alcohol and sweat permeates through his nose, making him almost want to throw up. Albert huffs and steps back, saying nothing.

"Dang, man, what's gotten into you since last week? How does Eveline let you go around looking like that?"

Albert smashes his fist into Leodes's cheek, knocking him to the side and to the ground. Leodes tenderly holds his cheek to ease the pain. He got him good. By the time he stands back up, Albert is gone.

_Alright, I guess he isn't happy to see me back. Was it something I said?_

Leodes shakes off the pain and walks through the gates of the city. He cheerfully waves at the guards by the side of the gate, who plainly ignore him.

The sound of the city's bustling citizens going about their day greets him as a drowning swathe of noise.

_It's only been a week, but being a prisoner in Coldharbour really gives you a perspective of just how beautiful the city is._

Above the crowds, a tall statue of a warrior stands, with sword and shield out in front, a sign that this city is protected by mighty defenders. Leodes looks up at it with respect. The statue which he was initiated into the fold of the Daggerfall watch by King Casimir. Leodes kneels in respect to it and reads the engravings.

_The Defender of Daggerfall. An unknown hero who sacrificed his life to save the city from the siege of the Reachman in 2E 541. While his face and name may never be known, his deeds will forever be remembered. This hero represents anyone who is willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to protect others._

Leodes smiles and continues on his way. To the left of the central square of the city lies the lumber mill. People spill in and out carrying logs and tools of all sorts, sweating from a long day's work. Leodes pops his head in for a glance, looking around for a Wood Elf woman with rose colored hair, fiery orange eyes, and tattoos of wild vines. Minyth.

No one matched that description, however, and he assumed she must be home from work now by then.

_I still never get over the irony of her working at a sawmill._

From there he continues down the road to the south and notices a group of people gathering around the town crier, who stands atop of wooden crate in the central square of the city. She speaks loudly, demanding silence, or as much as can be gotten from them before she continues.

"Hear ye, Hear ye! Hear ye, Hear ye! All residents of Daggerfall! Stay indoors tonight for your own safety! The watch is looking into a series of kidnappings and they don't want you to be the next victim!"

_Hmm, kidnappings? Maybe it's the cultists who captured me? I don't remember seeing any other victims. I had hoped I was the only one...but it has been a week. Anything could have happened since then. I'll let the Captain know what I do about them later, but first - my family needs me._

* * *

Leodes looks in awe of the house before him, as if it was the most beautiful sight he had ever laid eyes on. A simple stone house with wooden borders, small but still big enough to start a family. Cozy is the term he prefers.

He walks around the side of the house and is caught by surprise with the sight of a garden in the back. A couple rows of tomatoes are being grown, as well as carrots.

_Since when did Minyth take up gardening? I suppose maybe it was to keep her mind off of things when I was missing, perhaps. I didn't know these grew so quickly, it almost looks like they're ready to be harvested. So not only does she chop wood at work, she plants vegetables too. She does love being the contrary Bosmer._

He sighs, feeling warm and happy and at the same time, calm. Calm, a feeling he hasn't felt in perhaps years, even before being abducted and brought to Coldharbour. Everything in his life up until now has always been working toward the next goal, focused so much on the future that he never truly could relax and enjoy the present. That was one of the things Minyth often had to remind him of. She was always so good at making the problems of the world disappear, no matter what weighed him down. Nothing ever seemed to keep her from being happy for too long.

So now, Leodes was going to finally take some of that advice to heart. Facing the brink of death and hell itself and returning gave him a new perspective of life that he needed. It seemed so simple now.

Leodes stepped up the stairs to the front of the house and pulled at the knob at the door. It was locked, and so he checked beneath the large rock at the side of the steps and took the spare key they always kept there.

He swung the door open with excitement. He had been looking forward to hearing the sound of that creaky door he still has never fixed. It was a beautiful sound right now.

But then he looks around the room.

Things don't seem to be in the places they once were. Old furniture is in new places, there's new furniture in some places, and some things are just missing completely.

_Is this the right house?... Well, of course, it is unless my neighbors keep their key under rocks too. Minyth must have done a lot more than just gardening to keep her mind off of things. Shopping and home decoration too._

Leodes takes a few steps forward and sets his journal on a stool. He examines more of the house until he hears steps coming from the kitchen. His heart skips a beat in anticipation, and a smile as wide as he can hold is plastered on his face when he sees the Bosmer he's been waiting for, walk into the living room and sees him.

She looks completely shocked.

"Minyth...oh god, Minyth...I'm..." He starts tearing up. "I'm so happy to see you again. I thought I never would." Leodes says, sighing from happiness. Still, with that smile, he walks toward her with his arms wide out to hug her.

Minyth steps backward, still looking shocked. Leodes looks confused but still smiling.

"Minyth, it's okay...I'm okay...I'm alive. I'm back." he continues walking toward her.

She steps backward more, into the kitchen, and puts her hands on a knife.

"Who are you? How do you know my name? How did you get in here?" Minyth says, voice trembling with fear.

Leodes stops and lowers his hand, furrows his brow and looks very confused.

"Minyth, what?" He chuckles. "It's me, Leodes, your husband. Don't you recognize me?" He laughs some more. "I don't look that different without a shave, do I? I know I look like a mess, trust me...it's a long story."

Minyth looks closely at Leodes more, with wide, scared eyes and shakes her head. She picks up the knife and points it at him.

"No, you're not Leodes. I don't recognize you. My husband died 4 years ago. Now get out before I have to use this." She says firmly.

Leodes freezes with his mouth wide open.

_I don't recognize you. My husband died 4 years ago._

_My husband died 4 years ago._

_4 years ago._

He stares blankly at his wife until he manages to shake out some words.

"What?" Is all he can say.

"Get out!" She shouts at him and steps closer to him with the knife. Leodes backs up but feels like he lost all of his balance. It's hard to stay standing.

"What-what do you mean your husband died 4 years ago?"

"He went missing in the woods and his body was recovered later. Whatever you were planning to do here, forget it and leave. I don't want to hurt you."

_His body was recovered later._

Leodes trips over a chair and falls on his back. He gets up quickly and starts shaking. He looks back up at Minyth and sees the fear in her eyes, and he looks to his hands.

"But...No...No, that can't be possible...I-I'm Leodes. I'm your husband, Minyth, I...I was only gone a week- I was captured and taken to Coldharbour...I didn't die, I-" the words spilling out. Minyth clasped a hand on his shoulder and lowered the knife.

"You're not my husband. I don't know what made you think you are, but you don't look well. Are you drunk?" She said. Instead of fear, now she spoke with concern.

Leodes grabbed the arm she was holding him by.

"You have to recognize me, Minyth. It's me! Leodes!"

She stared at him for a few long seconds, and then tears started filling her eyes and she pulled her hand away, shaking her head.

"No...No you're not, you look nothing like him! If this is some sort of prank, you're very cruel. Go away!" she shouted, now it was sadness with which she spoke.

_You look nothing like him!_

Leodes grabbed her shoulders and brought his face close to her, and looked her straight in the eyes.

"It is me! Look into my eyes! I am Leodes!" Leodes whimpered out, yelling but with tears starting to come from his own eyes.

The front door slammed open against the wall.

"Get your hands off of my wife!" A different, but still familiar voice shouted.

Leodes slowly turned his gaze to the front door while Minyth shook herself free of his grip. She stepped back and held a hand up to her face, sobbing and shivering.

At the front of the house, was a tall brawny Breton man in grey plate mail armor. He took off his helmet and dropped it to the ground, revealing his blond wavy hair and green eyes and a clean-shaven face.

"Bernard?" Leodes asked, but it was only just more than a whisper.

_Bernard? That asshole from work?_

And he's her husband?

Leodes couldn't see straight. His hands were shaking, and the room was too. His stomach was twisting with pain and his head felt like it weighed a ton. He lost his balance and started tumbling back. He didn't see Bernard charging toward him until he was already pressed up against a wall.

"You have ten seconds to give me one reason I shouldn't kill you right now! Who are you and what are you doing here?" Bernard shouted in his face, spit speckling on him.

"No, Bernard, don't! Don't do this!" Minyth shouted.

Leodes looked at him wide-eyed and dumbfounded. He went beyond scared, now he was just going crazy.

He laughed. "Heh. If you knew who I was you probably already would have killed me Bernard, but you don't recognize me either do you?" Leodes laughed some more.

Bernard pulled him back and shoved him against the wall again, harder this time. He gritted his teeth.

"Who are you?" He shouted.

"Come on...Do it, Bernard! You've always wanted to! You've always hated me as much as I've hated you! You already took my wife, why not take my life too!"

"You're not Leodes! He's dead!" Bernard shouted. His face shaking from anger.

"Yeah! I've been hearing that a lot lately! So why not clear that up for me! Because I seem to have forgotten that!" Leodes shouts and spits in his face.

Bernard draws his sword with his other hand and holds it up to Leodes.

"Stop! Stop this right now!" Minyth shouts, pulling the two men away from each other.

Leodes holds his tender neck with one hand, and Minyth raises a finger at Bernard. She opens her mouth to say something to him, but the words were drowned out in his mind as all of Leodes's focus turned to the front door that still lay open. A small Wood Elf boy walked through the front door. He had brown eyes and short dark brown hair. He looked confused.

"Mama? What's going on?" He says with oblivious curiosity.

"Demyth..." Leodes whispered.

_You've grown so much...You were just a baby when I last saw you, you couldn't even walk yet..._

Despite the circumstances, just seeing his son brought him to his knees and eyes filled with tears of happiness.

The arguing between Bernard and Minyth stopped when they turned to see Demyth standing there.

"Demyth! Um, go play outside right now, okay?" Minyth says in a tone only adults use when talking to children.

"But what's going on? And who's that?" Demyth asks, pointing to Leodes.

For a brief second, Leodes and Demyth shared a glance into each other's eyes, and Leodes wondered if he would be able to see in him that which no one else has been able to. His father.

"Oh, he's...just someone from Father's work, now go on, sweetie," Minyth says again.

"Is he a bad man?" Demyth asks flatly.

Leodes instinctively shakes his head slowly no, and the smile on his face turns to a frown. The distance between him and his son seems to expand, his sight playing tricks on him. He reaches out his hand for him but he's too far away.

The voices in the room are drowned out now, his wife and son's, but he hears footsteps getting closer to him.

And then he's lifted up by a strong hand, pulling him up by the back of his shirt.

"Yes he is, and I'll be taking him down to the jailhouse now," Bernard says.

Until now he never let go of his gaze of his son, but hearing that frightened him more than anything. Moments ago he was okay with dying, but he didn't want to be seen getting arrested in front of his son, not even if he didn't recognize him.

"No! No, not here!" Leodes said desperately, struggling to break free of Bernards grip.

"Please, not in front of him!" Leodes shouts, and at last, he broke free and turned around to grab Bernard's arms and beg him.

Except he didn't realize he just shoved himself onto his still-drawn sword.

The sword pierced completely through him. It didn't hurt as much as he thought it would. Bernard quickly took the sword out of him, but it was too late. Leodes fell to his knees, and then to the ground. Blood soaking into the floorboards below.

Everything was getting dark.

The sound started to dim.

He heard people screaming and crying until all was dark and silent, and his eyes glazed over.

* * *

He woke up, gasping for breath on cold, hard stone. Above him was the rooftop of a small Wayshrine. He heard the sound of a flame burning in the center of the pedestal used for prayer. He smelled the incense. The sky was blue, the sun was bright, and he was alive.

_What? What just happened, where am I?_

He blinks twice and touches his face. He still feels normal. In fact, he no longer has a scruffy beard. He looks at his hands, and then holds his chest, and feels no wound from the sword. Not even a scar. In fact, no scars from any of the torture he was put through.

He also doesn't feel his shirt.

"Alright, buddy. Come on, get up. Let's go." The voice of a guard says, walking over to him with a blanket of sorts.

The guard lifts down his hand to pull him up, and it's just then that Leodes realizes that he's completely naked.

"What? What's going on, where am I? What happened?" Leodes rambles almost incoherently.

The guard pulls him up and shoves the blanket into his arms.

"Don't worry, I know what it's like to be so drunk you black out and wake up without your clothes on. Although when it happens to me it's usually in someone else's bed, hehe." The guard laughs.

Leodes still looks in shock. He pulls the blanket around himself and covers his body.

_What happened to me? How did I get here? Did any of that happen? Was all of that just a terrible dream? Oh god, please tell me that was just a dream..._

Leodes looked at the Breton guard's face and realized he recognized him.

_Craig. From the north patrol, second shift._

"Hey, Craig! Yeah, I guess so, heh. Too many drinks, yeah."

The guard looks a little confused. "Well, sorry, but I still gotta give you a Fine and bring you down to the jailhouse. Public Indecency. Procedure and all."

Leodes's smile fades a bit.

"What? Oh, come on Craig, you can't pull a favor even for me? You still owe me one for covering your debt when you lost that drunken bet awhile back." Leodes lets out a heavy laugh.

The guard looks at him strangely and then frowns.

"Sorry bud, I don't recognize you."


	3. A Vital Checkup

"Hear ye, Hear ye! The Watch urges you to be on the lookout for an Imperial man with short brown hair and brown eyes, wearing a white shirt and tan trousers. He is wanted for trespassing, public indecency, resisting arrest, assault of an on-duty guard, and petty theft. The suspect is unstable and dangerous. Do not give chase, but alert local authorities if you have a location on the suspect."

The town crier rings her bell, and people turn to face each other and gasp loudly, murmuring among themselves. Some claim to have seen him, some point in certain directions. Others shake their heads and shrug.

Leodes pulls his head back from around the corner and sighs.

_Last week, I was a guard upholding the law. Now I'm a wanted criminal. Reduced to stealing clothes and being kicked out of my own house. Nothing makes sense to me anymore, but I wasn't about to let myself get arrested without figuring out what the hell is wrong with me._

He looks at his hands. Adrenaline keeps them shaking, as his heart beats rapidly.

_What are you, Leodes? Alive? Dead? Or something else entirely? Maybe the Prophet would-_

Leodes shakes his head and grunts.

_No. Not the Prophet. I need answers from someone I can trust. Someone who can actually tell me their name._

Leodes steps off from against the wall and pulls up his hood, and keeps his head facing the ground to make it less likely to be detected. With his hands in his pockets, he glances down the alleyways for some clue of where to go.

Down one alley are a few beggars, wearing tattered clothes sitting on the ground against the wall with broken beer bottles next to them. One is asleep. Beyond it, on the other side of the main road is the Fighter's Guildhall.

_No. I may know a lot of people down at the Fighter's Guild, but if not even my wife recognizes me, I doubt they will. I'd be better off walking into the jailhouse myself._

Leodes ignores this alley and moves forward, looking down another to his left.

This one doesn't have any people in it, but a few rats scramble across the ground, and a horrible stench permeates within as if something is dead and rotting away. Trash litters the ground, and there are various charred marks on certain spots of the walls. Beyond the street after the alley is the Mage's guild.

_The Mage's Guild, of course. Whether Magic is involved or not, there's a better chance that someone there will listen to me long enough to at least consider my story before sending the guard after me. I've met enough Mages to know that the crazy and unbelievable is just another puzzle to unravel for them._

Before Leodes even sets foot beyond the current wall he hides behind, he sees the shadow of someone turning the corner on the opposite side of the road. Leodes jumps back close to the wall.

The shadow becomes a person. A Dunmer with red hair, wearing a brown wizard hat with a feather, and the traditional mage's guild robes. He looks preoccupied with thought but turns down the alley that Leodes was considering going through.

_Well, if I wanted to get the chance to talk to one of them alone, now's the best chance._

Leodes runs out from behind the wall, across the street and down the alley, after the mage. He tries to make his run look at least a little natural and slows to a fast-walk once actually in the alley.

He looks back behind him to make sure no one else is coming and tries to get caught up to the Dunmer. He hears the Dunmer saying things aloud to himself, under his breath, as he bends down and starts picking through the trash, shoving things aside.

Leodes pauses for a second, confused, but then presses on.

"Excuse me," Leodes says, nearing him. The Dunmer doesn't seem to notice.

"Hello?" He says again, but the Dunmer doesn't respond.

Leodes sighs and reaches out his hand to tap the Dunmer's shoulder.

The Dunmer gets spooked and jerks wildly up and loses his grip on what he's holding. A metal box hits the ground, making a loud clang against the stone, and opening up a lid as it tips on its side.

"Sorry! I didn't-" Leodes says. Several rats spew out of the metal box trap, squeaking loudly and scurrying madly in their escape.

"-mean to let your rats escape..." He finishes, looking confused.

Leodes moves out of the way of the rats, but the Dunmer walks past him, with his hands held up in the air.

"No! Don't go! Come back! I promise to feed you well!" He shouts. "...Before I use you to feed my Daedrat..." He says in a quieter, somber tone.

He pulls his hat further down his head in frustration.

"Your...what?" Leodes asks, with a raised eyebrow.

The Dunmer turns to face him, as if only just now noticing him for the first time. He holds his hands out exasperatedly. "Daedrat! My pet! Mr. Nibbles! He's going to be so disappointed now, this was supposed to be his special treat." The Dunmer holds his hand to his chin and mumbles some words.

Leodes stands, still confused for another second, before deciding not to ask about it.

"Again, I'm sorry about that...but, there was something I wanted to ask you," Leodes says politely.

The Dunmer still seems to ignore him, mumbling and holding his chin in thought. He then starts to walk off, down the alley toward the Mage's guild.

"There's something I need help with, something possibly magic related." Leodes continues, calmly and politely.

The Dunmer stops, gasps and raises a finger as if he just figured something out, but still looks the other way, not responding to he keeps walking.

Leodes gets annoyed and runs up to his side. "Look, I just escaped the Daedric plane of Coldharbour and now something strange is going on with me and I don't know what it is!" he shouts. Immediately after he regrets it and looks around to make sure no one else was in earshot.

The Dunmer quickly turns to face him, intrigued. He widens his eyes curiously. "Coldharbour, Molag's realm. Really? What was it like? Does it really look like Nirn but in ruins, with the Imperial palace spattered with blood and excrement?" He says in an excited tone ill-befit of the dark realm he speaks of.

Leodes looks dumbfounded at the joy in his tone when speaking of it. He shakes his head. "No... I mean, I don't know. It was terrible, that's all I can really describe it as. Terrible."

The Dunmer looks a little saddened. "Ah." Is all he says.

"After I left it though, strange things have been happening to me. I was only in there for a week, but when I came back, 4 years have passed. No one recognizes me, not even my wife, and I...black out and appear in other places. Without my clothes on."

The Dunmer nods repeatedly as Leodes tells his story. He seems a little surprised at the part about waking up without any clothes. Then he raises his finger and opens his mouth.

"Ah, I see...so you must be that one I heard the town crier talking about, running around town. Claiming to be a certain Leodes Loreius, who passed away." He nods some more, then purses his lips. "Have you been drinking lately? Skooma? Or perhaps Hist sap?" He asks flatly with squinted eyes.

"No, look, I'm not drunk! And I've never used Skooma, or whatever sap! You have to believe me! I was in Coldharbour! I saw Molag Bal! I saw the Soul Shriven and the Dremora and other Daedra. They tortured me for a week! He plans to invade Tamriel and send down these Dark Anchor machines to merge Nirn and Coldharbour together in something he calls the Planemeld!"

"Wow." The Dunmer says, blinking his eyes. He chuckles. "That's...absolutely and utterly insane, and yet...for some reason I believe you."

"So...You'll help me figure out what's going on with me?"

"Maybe...On one condition. You have to tell me more about Coldharbour, other than just 'it's terrible'"

"I don't exactly like reliving those memories, you know."

The Dunmer shrugs.

"Alright, fine. Can we do this somewhere else, though? I'd rather not re-live my darkest experiences in an alleyway while I'm a wanted criminal. You never told me your name, by the way."

"Gimlyn Ginith, at your service," he says and bows. "And sure, I have a place here in town."

* * *

Leodes follows Gimlyn up the stairs of the Inn. The noisy patrons below make it difficult for Leodes to think. He glances back to make sure no one is following them and tugs further on his hood to keep his identity hidden.

Gimlyn pulls out a key and unlocks the door to his room, and they both quickly get inside and close the door behind them. A bar fight breaks out downstairs just below, and the muffled sounds of glasses breaking and people yelling can still be heard slightly, even after the door is shut.

"So...You live in an inn." Leodes says.

"A permanent tenant! Yep. It's small and cozy, but enough to suit my needs and for my work." Gimlyn cheerfully says as he walks through the room.

Leodes steps forward, with the sound of crumpling papers beneath his feet.

A snarling sound makes him flinch and jump back. A daedrat pokes its nose and wiggles its claws through the bars of its cage, sitting on a dresser. It struggles against its prison, to no avail.

"Don't mind him, he can get a bit cranky when he's hungry, and who's to blame for that?" Gimlyn says. He sighs and starts tidying up his desk a bit, with all sorts of papers and books laid out across as if a storm had passed through the room and laid waste to it. It was an utter mess, for a room so small. An unmade bed, drawers sticking out with clothes lying all about.

"How do you live in this mess, Gimlyn? Or better yet, how does the Innkeeper let you live like this?" Leodes asks, incredulously.

"What he doesn't know, doesn't get him killed." A metallic, high pitched feminine voice says.

Leodes looks in the direction of the voice and sees two bright piercing eyes belonging to a purple, winged and scaly creature with horns, perched on the window sill that he just now noticed was there. Her wings – which are more extensions of her hands - point upwards, covering her chest and shoulders.

Leodes jumps back. "What the heck?" He looks to Gimlyn, who doesn't seem at all surprised that this creature is there. He relaxes a little, but still remains on edge. "What is that thing?" Leodes says, nodding toward it.

"Ah, that's Drasilla." Gimlyn says, smiling. "She's a Winged Twilight, one of Azura's favored Daedra. Don't mind her quips, she's just playful, and she couldn't do you any harm even if she wanted to - I summoned her here from Moonshadow, so she's under my control. Still, I like to let her speak her mind." He continues cleaning up his desk.

"The more pitiful mortals I have to put up with, the more eager I grow to watch this world burn." She says scornfully, with a frightening sincerity.

"She's just grumpy that I've kept her cooped up in this room for a few days." Gimlyn says, and picks up some fallen books, placing them back on the bookshelves.

Leodes raises an eyebrow and nods slowly. "Alright... Are you hiding any other Daedra in your closet that I should know about?"

Gimlyn chuckles. "Why would I keep them in my closet? That would be inhumane..." He stops and thinks. "But maybe, just a second. Hopefully, he didn't get out again."

"What do you mean, get out?" Leodes asks with a hint of concern.

"Impy! Look, I have a little treat for you!" Gimlyn holds out a gold coin and crouches down.

"Impy?" Leodes asks.

Suddenly, the bed starts to bump around, and a muffled screech comes from beneath it. A squat, purplish figure with furry legs, a rats tail and long ears darts out from under the bed. It tackles Gimlyn with such a force that it knocks him on his back, and his hat flips on to his face.

Leodes takes a step back and just looks dumbfounded at the sight of this creature snapping the gold coin from his hands and playing with it. It looks up at Leodes with an angry frown and pulls the coin close to his chest and turns around as if protecting it.

"So you have a pet Scamp, too...I saw those in Coldharbour." __  
  
Gimlyn pulls his hat back on, stands up and dusts himself off. "No, they're not my pets. Well, Mr. Nibbles is, but these are my..." He coughs, thinking of the right word. "Work associates."

"This mortal you've brought to us is a fine specimen. I'd like to keep him as my pet." Drasilla says with a toothy grin. Leodes looks disgusted.

"Alright, that's enough from both of you. Back to Oblivion for you, until next time."

Gimlyn raises his hands and lowers them, with a purple glow radiating from them. He whispers some words, and both Impy and Drasilla are surrounded by purple portals, which then dissipate, along with them.

Gimlyn shakes his head and raises a hand to his chin.

"I leave them alone for 5 minutes in here and they make a mess of the place. Typical."

Leodes narrows his eyes at Gimlyn.

"So... you want to know more about Coldharbour, you keep a Daedrat as a pet, and have two Daedra 'work associates'...What exactly do you do, Gimlyn?" Leodes asks.

Gimlyn drops some of the papers he was holding and bends down to pick them up.

"Well, I uh. I research...things. For the Mage's Guild. I like to consider myself a sort of Daedrologist. Well, an apprentice Daedrologist. Junior apprentice."

Leodes looks at him doubtfully.

"Really...I just love Morian Zenas- I mean his work. Well, maybe both, but he's far too old for me if he's even still alive anymore-"

"What do you do as a Daedrologist?" Leodes interrupts.

"Well, should think it pretty obvious. I study all things Daedric- but mostly the Lesser Daedra." Gimlyn insists. "I've always wanted to know more about them, how their minds work, what their society is like, and what they do when they aren't busy trying to enslave or kill mortals. The Princes themselves aren't worth the hassle of getting involved with all of those crazy cultists, and you're just as likely to get cursed or killed by the Prince you worship as you are to get anything meaningful out of it."

"Do you think you can trust a Daedra?" Leodes asks with a judging look.

"What I think," Gimlyn says loudly. "is that the Lesser Daedra are misunderstood. I mean, we would probably be pretty crazy too if we lived in a realm lead by power-hungry Daedric Princes. Maybe if we took the time to understand them more, we would have some insight on how to stop the next Prince that goes on a power trip across Tamriel – and maybe even some allies to help us."

"You didn't answer my question," Leodes says flatly.

Gimlyn turns at him, annoyed. "Do you want my help or not?"

Leodes raises his hands and looks down. "Alright."

Gimlyn says nothing but sets down what he was holding and walks over to him.

"Right. Well, we'll start with the basic checkup. I'll make sure your main faculties are still at work. It might seem pointless - but you can never be certain when it comes to interplanar travel." Gimlyn holds out Leodes's arm squints for a closer inspection, and then nods.

"No skin discoloration."

Gimlyn pulls a knife from the inner pockets of his robe and leaves a small cut on his arm.

"Ow, hey!"

"No blood discoloration, and you still feel pain."

He holds a hand on the left half of his upper chest.

"Your heart's still beating. That's good."

Leodes scoffs, and Gimlyn knocks his fist on Leodes's forehead twice.

"Ow, would you stop it? I still feel pain, okay?" Leodes yelps, holding a hand to his tender head.

"Just making sure your skull isn't hollow. Good. Just one more test before we move on to the next phase."

"I could have told you all of this. Is this really necessary?" Leodes asks.

"This may sting a little. " Gimlyn holds his right hand out and prepares a spell. A blue-ish white aura surrounds his hand. He focuses its energy more and releases it at Leodes.

"Hey, what-!" Leodes tries to jump aside but doesn't get out of the way in time.

The spell hits Leodes. He closes his eyes and feels an indescribable sensation quickly spread across his body, but then quickly fade away.

He opens his eyes after a couple seconds, confused. "Was that supposed to do something?" Leodes asks.

Gimlyn looks at him, wide-eyed and jaw open. "It...did. But not what I was expecting."

"What...do you mean, Gimlyn? What is it?" Leodes asks impatiently.

"Leodes...You're Soul Shriven."

Leodes freezes and stares vacantly.

_It's happening. You can't run away from your fate anymore._

Leodes holds his hands to his head. He then quickly looks to Gimlyn. "No...No, I can't be. You're wrong, Gimlyn!"

"Here, watch," Gimlyn says. He prepares another spell and casts it toward Mr. Nibbles. The Daedrat yelps and runs to the back of its cage, shaking in fear, squealing. The Daedrat is enveloped in a purplish aura around its body. __  
  
"Er, sorry, Mr. Nibbles..." Gimlyn squints. "Anyway, see that purple aura? You have that around you too. Look." Gimlyn says.

Leodes does as he says and raises a hand in front of him. What he says is true, a purple aura emanates from his hand, and, as he can tell, the rest of his body.

Leodes looks back to Gimlyn, confused.

"Now watch," he says. Gimlyn prepares the spell once more and casts it on himself. Gimlyn closes his eyes for a brief second, and then a light-blue aura emanates from his body.

"See? Mine is blue, that's what it normally does. This is a soul trap spell, but it can be used to tell certain things about another's soul...except when there is no soul, it emanates a purple glow instead of a blue one."

Leodes struggles to focus on anything. He starts to feel light headed and lose his balance. Except for this time the proof is irrefutable. There's a certain, calming feeling in that.

"So...it really is true then. I am dead." Leodes says, defeated. He sits down in a chair behind him, keeping a level gaze at nothing. "I'm dead." He says again. It feels a little more comfortable saying it now.

"Well...No." Gimlyn says, looking up and tilting his head side to side. Leodes instantly looks up at him. "Well, I mean yes- but not really...You're more like a...Daedric clone of your soul, with its memories, and the shape of that soul's body in life?" Gimlyn frowns and shrugs.

"...What?" Leodes says, narrowing his eyes and utterly confused.

"Well, I just meant that you're a Soul Shriven, so you're not really dead, because you're not even really you...anymore-" Gimlyn coughs and stops talking, as he realizes mid-phrase that what he was saying could be very rude, given the circumstances. Gimlyn looks away and distracts himself, rubbing his chin and looking at his books, and whistles.

All of the unstable feelings from the uncertainty of his fate come back to him again.

"What do you mean, Gimlyn?" Leodes asks.

Gimlyn doesn't respond, and instead just picks a book at random to start flipping through the pages.

"Gimlyn!" Leodes shouts.

"Huh? Oh, what?" Gimlyn says.

"What do you mean I'm not 'me' anymore?" Leodes demands.

Gimlyn chuckles nervously. "Oh, that? I just uh, misspoke. I was thinking of something else – you should know me by now, heh, always getting distracted, hehe."

Leodes lowers his brows and keeps his sight on him. He stands up and walks toward him. He sighs and speaks slowly, but loudly. "Gimlyn...Tell me what happened to me. Everything. What is a Soul Shriven?" He demands.

Gimlyn closes his eyes and sighs in defeat. He sets the book down and looks at Leodes. "Well, all I have for you is a theory, nothing completely solid-" Gimlyn says.

"Do you Know Anything, Gimlyn? Or is everything just Maybes to you?" Leodes shouts in annoyance with his hands raised. He turns around and paces, resting his head in his hands, covering his face.

"Well unless you want me to do some excruciatingly painful tests on you as I dissect your body to learn every scrap of information I can about you, then yes, all I have for you is a theory...A very well-researched theory backed with my knowledge of Daedrology and from other tomes written on the subject, but a theory nonetheless." Gimlyn says with hints of annoyance. Then it fades and is replaced with curiosity.

"I mean...unless of course, you do want me to do those tests," Gimlyn asks hopefully. Leodes looks at him with his arms arched at his side, in silence. "It could potentially increase our knowledge of Daedrology a hundredfold, and could lead to new innovations in medicine and technology and..." Gimlyn trails off, seeing Leodes's unmoving face. "Alright. Theory it is." Gimlyn claps once and nods.

Leodes folds his arms and looks at Gimlyn attentively.

"Right. As I said, it is from reading other tomes on the subject, and from my own research into Daedrology that has led me to the conclusion that Soul Shriven are in-fact, a Daedric vestige – the equivalent of a soul for a Daedra - that has been removed of all of its memories, subjected into a memory-cloning process with the soul of a mortal, and then submerged into the spawning pools of Oblivion, where a body imitating the one the host soul had in life, is created from those cloned memories, with the Azure Plasm that all Daedric bodies are made of." Gimlyn says as if reciting a speech he had planned multiple times before.

Leodes looks down, deep in thought.

"So...Like how people talk about having spirit animals, being reincarnated from them in a past-life – You, quite literally have a spirit Daedra." Gimlyn says, chuckling. "I wonder what yours was in your previous existence? Clannfear? Maybe Daedroth? What did they do that upset Molag Bal so much that they had your memories erased and replaced with a mortal's?"

Leodes grabs Gimlyn by the collar and raises him up. "I refuse to accept that I'm a Daedra!" he shouts.

"Yep...Definitely Daedroth." Gimlyn mumbles through his restrained neck.

Leodes lets him go and turns around, holding his head. Pulling his hair back out of stress and confusion.

"So...I'm not just dead...I'm just not me anymore..." Leodes says, trying to process it in his mind.

"One of potentially many Soul Shriven versions of you-" Gimlyn says, but then winces, again, realizing the rudeness of it.

Leodes turns to look at him again, and Gimlyn sighs, inwardly irritated with himself, and confesses his thoughts.

"What I mean is, the memories from your soul weren't stolen, just copied into a Daedra's vestige. There's no reason they couldn't have done that with your soul and other Daedra vestiges too. You were gone for four years, after all, by now there could be several other Soul Shriven who look like you and have the same memories of your old life. You were just the most recent to be created from the memories of your lost soul...One might have gone feral, one might be in the process of recreating their body after being destroyed...and the others might still be slaving away or being tortured..." Gimlyn stops and winces again. "But hey, think on the bright side, you escaped Coldharbour, so you don't have to go through that anymore, right?"

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Leodes scoffs. "I was almost to the point of accepting my death, and now you tell me that I'm not even me anymore, I'm just a Daedra who had their memories erased, and replaced with a mortal's memories, and that there are other clones of me who are all still suffering in Coldharbour right now. How do I even begin to reconcile that?" Leodes scoffs. His eyes are wide open and he crazily tugs at his hair, as he paces around the room again.

Gimlyn looks away and frowns with guilt.

"And my wife and doesn't even recognize me...but I guess she's not even really my wife anyway because I'm not even me!" Leodes shouts crazily and kicks over a chair.

Gimlyn looks up and narrows his eyes in thought. "Yes...That part does confuse me. It's never been recorded that Soul Shriven is unable to be recognized by people who knew their host mortal. In fact, quite the opposite. I mean, there is the disfigurations that come over time from being a failed replica, unable to sustain the vestige inside of you that could lead to that...but you look remarkably, well, alive, more than any Soul Shriven I've ever heard of. You must have escaped Coldharbour immediately after your creation."

"Well, I was there for a week," Leodes says and continues pacing.

Gimlyns eyes widen. "What?" He looks at Leodes. "You were in there for a whole week and you still look like that?" Gimlyn walks over to him and grabs his arm, pulling up his sleeve.

"What? Yeah, I told you that before, remember?" Leodes says, confused.

"I remember now, but...this doesn't make sense," Gimlyn says. He turns Leodes toward him and looks him closely in the eyes and scans his face. Leodes steps back away from him. Gimlyn pulls up his shirt and examines his chest.

"Hey, what the heck are you doing?" Leodes demands, pulling his shirt back down.

Gimlyn rubs his chin in thought. "Not a single sign of any deformity, anywhere. I'll have to be more thorough."

Gimlyn reaches his hands for Leodes's pants, but his wrist is grabbed and his arm bent behind his back, making him wince from pain.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Leodes demands, still holding Gimlyn's arm.

"You...Don't look like other Soul Shriven." He says, struggling through the pain.

Leodes lets go. "Well yeah, I know that. Why the heck do you think I've been so insistent that I'm not one of them?"

Gimlyn shakes his head. "No, no. That's the thing. You are. You do not have a mortal soul. There's no doubt of that...But you were there for a whole week. Every witness account of Soul Shriven has said that, by now, you should look like a pale skinned, white-eyed monstrosity, with other possible deformities appearing over time. It's the result of the imperfect copy of your mortal soul's memories rejecting the body that your vestige created, expedited by the nature of existing in Oblivion, where time moves differently." Gimlyn rambles on crazily.

"Yeah, well I was there for a week. I know because I kept track of the routines of the guards when I wasn't busy being tortured."

"This doesn't add up...This is unprecedented. This is scientifically impossible..." Gimlyn gasps and looks up.

"Unless..." Gimlyn races over to his bookshelf, striding his finger across the books until he finds the one he's looking for. He pulls it out and flips through the pages.

Leodes stands still, unsure of what to think of Gimlyn's antics.

"Here!" He shouts and looks up. He follows his finger across the page he opened up to. '...His theory is that the Soul Shriven's bodies are flawed because they have lost the focusing principle of their Anuic souls, so their vestiges are imperfect patterns. I concurred that this was likely, and then proposed the theoretical possibility of a Soul Shriven who, despite having lost his or her soul, possessed some other intrinsic Anuic aspect. This shall-we-say "paragon" Soul Shriven would form an unflawed body in Coldharbour that was a perfect duplicate of the body worn in Mundus. In fact, if this paragon bore a sufficiently high Anuic valence, upon contact with Padomaic creatia its body would form almost instantaneously.'" Gimlyn says the last lines slowly.

Gimlyn looks up with a smile of fascination, looking at Leodes.

"Uh, Gimlyn? What does all of that mean?" He asks.

"It means that when your memories were cloned...you were a perfect copy! Or well, perfect enough that some anuic intrinsic principle passed over to you, but anyway – it means that, that is why your body isn't deteriorating! In-fact, if all of this is true...that would mean you can do something that no one - Mortal, Aedra or Daedra, can do, not even the Divines or the Daedric Princes themselves...You can regenerate your body instantaneously when you die."

"I can what?" Leodes asks incredulously and shakes his head.

Gimlyn closes the book and laughs.

"I get it. I understand it now. This is why Molag Bal went through the trouble of creating the Soul Shriven in the first place. I had always thought, 'why bother wasting Deadric vestiges to create weaker mortal-clones', but now I know, and of course he must have too. This is what he wanted all along. He is the God of Schemes, after all. It was all to learn how to create you." Gimlyn accusatively points at Leodes. He walks towards him.

Leodes steps back. "Gimlyn, you're kind of freaking me out."

"He wanted to pass over the intrinsic anuic aspects of a mortal into a Daedric vestige. The Aedric and Daedric energies together act as a catalyst, sparking the reformation process Daedra go through when they die, into an instantaneous occurrence. Because even Daedric Princes take time to regenerate when they're destroyed. Potentially even centuries, for them. But you...Leodes..."

Gimlyn grabs Leodes's shoulders and shakes him. "You are his key. The key to him learning how to create a Daedric army that cannot be defeated, because if they are they would simply 're-spawn' immediately and return to fight! You were what he was trying to create all along so that he can create more like you!" He laughs hysterically and lets go.

Gimlyn shakes his head and turns around.

"It's ironic, that what he was trying to create all along – the one success out of a million failures, is the one Soul Shriven to escape his grasp. He must be furious." Gimlyn laughs.

Gimlyn stops laughing. "He must be furious."

He looks to Leodes and grabs his shoulders again. "Leodes. You are in trouble right now. You need to listen to me. We need to study this immediately, we need to learn how to use this to our advantage – to protect you from him, because if he finds you before then..." Gimlyn looks very scared. He shakes his head.

"Listen. You said you blacked out and woke up somewhere else. What happened? Where did you wake up at?"

"All I can remember is getting stabbed by someone I knew from work. Then I woke up naked, without any wounds, next to one of those Wayshrines in the city that pilgrims go to." Leodes says and then continues "I don't get it. I don't understand what you're saying."

Gimlyn lets go of him and paces around the room again. "Okay, next to a Wayshrine, that makes sense. Souls go there before ascending to Atherius after death. There's a lot of anuic energy there." Gimlyn nods.

He turns to Leodes. "Alright, you're just going to have to trust me right now, but you didn't black out Leodes. You died, and your vestige reformed your body at the nearest access point of Anuic energy – wayshrines. We need to repeat this process so we can begin to understand it, and how to use it to our advantage before it's too late."

Gimlyn turns around and picks up a knife from his table.

"What? What do you mean we need to 'repeat this process' Gimlyn?" Leodes asks.

"I'm sorry, I'll try to make this as quick and painless as possible," Gimlyn says, grabbing Leodes's arm with one hand and stabbing him in the chest with another before he realizes what he's doing.

Leodes drops to the floor, shocked, confused and bleeding out.

"This was the only way for me to convince you of what you can do, Leodes. You'll understand everything in a few seconds."

"What?...Gimlyn...Why?" Leodes says faintly, before becoming unresponsive. Immediately after, his body vanishes and leaves behind his equipment.

"I really need to figure out how to keep his clothes on him next time." Gimlyn says, shaking his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, I've taken some creative liberty and expanded on some of the concepts of being Soul Shriven, and Molag Bal's interest in creating them. I might write a lorebook about it later. I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Let me know what you think down below as the story continues to unfold for Leodes.


	4. Learning the Ropes

Leodes looks around the room, and deep into the shadows beneath the hoods of his captors, begging them to let him go. They stand still, unmoving, all surrounding him. His cries go unheard.

He looks back to the tall elf, with the blade holding over him, and a gem in another hand.

"Please...no, don't do this! I have a family!" Leodes cries out to him.

The elf raises the gem above him and stabs the dagger down into his chest.

* * *

Leodes screams at the top of his lungs as the blade carves down deep into his skin.

The demonic figure shakes his head and lifts it up, turning to talk to another in a language that he cannot understand.

"Just tell me, why are you doing this? Is it for information? Fine, I give in, just ask me! Just ask me something!... Just say something! What do you want from me!?" Leodes yells.

The one holding the blade looks at him, and then back to the other. The other nods, and the blade-holding Daedra slices his throat.

* * *

"No! No, not here!" Leodes said desperately, struggling to break free of Bernards grip.

"Please, not in front of him!" Leodes shouts, and at last, he broke free and turned around to grab Bernard's arms and beg him, but accidentally shoved himself into Bernard's sword.

The sword pierced completely through him. Bernard pulled the sword out, and Ledoes fell to his knees, and then the floor. Screams and cries filled his ears, as all went dim.

* * *

"I'm sorry, I'll try to make this as quick and painless as possible," Gimlyn says, grabbing Leodes's arm with one hand and stabbing him in the chest with another.

Leodes drops to the floor, shocked, confused and bleeding out.

"This was the only way for me to convince you of what you can do, Leodes. You'll understand everything in a few seconds."

* * *

Leodes opens his eyes and gasps for air. The sight beholden to him is the same familiar rooftop of the Daggerfall wayshrine, complete with the sound of the burning blue flame in the center.

He sits up and realizes that he is without clothes again. He looks at his hands, which are shaking, feels his face, which is clean-shaven, and his chest, which bears no mark of any wound to speak of.

"What happened?..." Leodes says aloud, not much more than a whisper.

_This was the only way for me to convince you of what you can do, Leodes. You'll understand everything in a few seconds._

"Understand everything in a few seconds..."

Leodes looks to the Wayshrine pedestal next to him and feels the cold of the stone touching his skin.

He stands up and looks at the blue flame in the center. He frowns at it, not remembering that ever being there before, and hovers his hand over it. Instead of feeling warm, it feels cold.

_Just tell me, why are you doing this? Is it for information? Fine, I give in, just ask me! Just ask me something!... Just say something! What do you want from me!?_

Leodes feels a knife slicing across his throat. He stumbles back and feels it with his hands, but feels nothing, other than his neck. He feels the blood rushing across his hands, but when he looks at them, he sees nothing.

He hears the sound of a sword plunging through him and feels it just as much. He looks down and sees his bare chest still bearing no wound, nor scar, of that, ever happening, and yet the feeling is real.

_Please, not in front of him!_

He feels light-headed like the world is spinning around, and he stumbles and loses his balance.

"Bernard?" he whispers.

He grabs hold of the central pedestal to keep himself standing, and his head falls into the blue flame, but he feels no pain, only coldness.

_Please...no, don't do this! I have a family!_

He feels another crunch of a dagger stabbing through him, and everything turns dark around him.

He doesn't feel his body, and yet he still sees, as nothing, less than even a ghost. He sees a dark tunnel, black and blue, with a light at the end of it. The light comes closer, and closer, until it makes an outline to form a shape.

The shape of a floating, demonic head, with horns and fangs, laughing at him. The light turns to darkness, and everything is black and silent.

Leodes opens his eyes and sees the blue flame below him, he gasps for air and stumbles back into the wall of the wayshrine.

"So it's true...All this time...I have been dead, and I've been dying...Over and over..." Leodes mumbles to himself.

_And I've been returning._

"But how...?" Leodes asks himself.

_Because I'm a Daedra with the memories and appearance of a mortal who died and had their stole stolen._

"These...memories. they aren't mine. I'm not Leodes. I'm a Daedra. I'm a monstrosity." Leodes mumbles, staring vacantly into the distance.

The sun is blocked by a figure approaching him, and a shadow is cast over him. Leodes remains unmoving.

"So, the criminal returns to the scene of the crime. Am I taking you in this time, or are you going to try and give me another black eye to match the other?" Craig the guard says. He draws his sword and approaches Leodes.

Leodes quickly jumps up and raises his hands, and backs away out of the Wayshrine.

"Please, no. Get back, I don't want to hurt you! I'm a Daedra, I can't die!" Leodes yelps, quivering and shaking uncontrollably.

"These skooma nutjobs just get crazier and crazier," Craig says under his breath.

Leodes backs away more, and Craig runs toward him.

A deafening screech pierces the silence and both turn to where it came from. A purple, winged creature swoops down and grabs the guard's shoulder plates with her clawed feet, and picks him up.

He drops his sword and screams as he's lifted off into the distance.

"Run, mortal!" the Winged Twilight shouts. Leodes stands still, dumbfounded at what happened. "Drasilla...?" Leodes asks, thinking back to returning memories of who she is.

A crowd circles around the wayshrine, looking up at the guard being taken away. Some scream and guards rush to the scene.

A scamp scurries out of an alley and up to Leodes, he turns to see it with a pair of pants hanging from his head.

"And you're...Impy...I remember." Leodes says slowly.

Impy screeches and drops the pants on the ground at Leodes's feet. He grabs them and notices a note falls out of the pockets, which upon reading, says "Follow me! Hurry!" on it.

Leodes takes a couple seconds to register what's going on.

"Hey, it's that guy from the wanted posters!" Someone shouts, and points at Leodes. Some of the guards pull their attention from the abducted guard to run after Leodes. Impy scurries off, into an alleyway.

"Hey, wait for me!" Leodes yells out after it. He quickly pulls on the trousers and runs barefoot after the scamp, with the guards close behind.

"Stop, you have violated the law!" the guards shout after him.

His feet slap hard on the cobbled stone streets painfully, as he is unused to running barefoot. He pushes on through the pain and sprints, which is enough to stay ahead of the heavily armored guards.

The scamp suddenly changes direction and races down another alleyway, and Leodes follows. As he passes the wall out of sight from the guards, he feels himself being pushed down and covered with a blanket.

The scamp yelps, but the sound deafens as it gets desummoned from this plane.

"What's going on?" Leodes yells beneath the blanket.

"Shh, be quiet!" Gimlyn whispers and kicks him.

The guards catch up and turn down the alleyway they're in.

"If you're chasing after that scamp and Imperial man, I saw them run down that way!" Gimlyn quickly says to the guards, pointing in a random direction to another alley. They nod and continue running down and out of sight.

Several seconds pass until Gimlyn speaks up. "Alright, it should be safe now. Come out."

Leodes pulls off the blanket and stands up. Gimlyn walks over to a crate and pulls out some bundled clothes from them and walks toward Leodes.

"Now, I'm sure you're probably pretty mad at me right now, but-" Gimlyn's words are cut off by Leodes punching him in the face.

Leodes snatches the clothes from him and starts putting them on. Gimlyn stumbles back and holds his tender face. "Alright, okay. I deserved that...I did just kill you after all..." he says, aching from the pain.

"Gimlyn, what the hell? What if it didn't work like you thought it would? What if you were wrong?" Leodes yells at him, after pulling over his hood.

"Well, if I was wrong, then you would have returned to Coldharbour and regenerated your body for the next few months as a regular Soul Shriven...but I was fairly certain that that wouldn't happen, and hey, I was right! There was only a 10% chance that I wasn't." Gimlyn declares, proudly.

"A 10% chance, and you didn't think to ask if I was okay with being your test subject before you decided to stab me out of nowhere?" Leodes raises his voice, walking toward Gimlyn.

Gimlyn raises his hands up and backs against a wall, looking from side to side.

"Hey, you might want to keep your voice down." He whispers. "You're still a wanted criminal. Besides, there was no way you were going to agree to it, and when I realized that time is of the essence right now, I did the only thing I could to convince you in an immediate fashion. You can hate me later, but right now, there are bigger matters at hand."

"Yeah. I've been hearing that a lot lately." Leodes scoffs.

"Come on, we need to get back to my place before the guards find you out here." Gimlyn says, and starts walking down the alley.

He turns back after he notices Leodes not following him. Leodes sighs, shakes his head and shrugs, and decides to follow.

* * *

The door swings open and the two walk into Gimlyn's inn room, amidst a conversation. They close the door behind them.

"-So you're saying Molag Bal won't stop sending Daedra and cultists after me until he captures me and brings me back to Coldharbour, so that he can experiment on me to find out what went 'right' when I was created, so that he can replicate it and create an unstoppable army to invade Nirn with." Leodes summarizes.

"Pretty much. You're a wanted man in both Daggerfall and Coldharbour. You're really starting to build up quite the reputation. Some outlaws would be envious." Gimlyn jokes, trying to ease the tense moment.

Leodes ignores him and continues. "So then all we need to do is figure out how to reverse what happened, right? How to fix me?" He asks in a hopeful tone. "I mean, if I'm just regular Leodes again, he wouldn't have any reason to keep pursuing me. Or at the least, it would stop him from being able to create an army of things like me."

"You mortals always confuse me," Drasilla speaks, perched by the open window. "Why would you want to throw away the power you have been given? It is one envied by all, daedra and mortal alike. Immortality in its truest form." Drasilla clicks her tongue disapprovingly.

Leodes pushes Gimlyn aside and marches toward her.

"Hey, you didn't hurt that guard did you? What did you do to him?" He demands.

Drasilla does a gesture that can only be described as a shrug. "Why would it matter if I did? He was trying to hurt you, take you away. I did you a favor, mortal. You should be thankful."

"He was just doing his job!" Leodes raises his voice.

Drasilla sighs and shakes her head. "Oh fine. I merely dropped him in a pond of blue liquid outside the walls of your petty city. He was alive and well, last I saw him." Drasilla admits. "You are a strange, yet very interesting mortal," Drasilla adds, smiling.

"Thank you, Drasilla...That will be all." Gimlyn says, before raising his hands and casting the spell to desummon her. "Until next time, mortal." She says before she disappears.

Gimlyn shakes his head. "She did have a point, though. I'm surprised you would want to get rid of your new power." He chuckles. "I mean...People would kill to, well, not be able to die. To come back instantly each time? Leodes, you could do almost anything now! You could be a hero, save people, stop wars, and go anywhere without the fear of death. Is that really such a bad thing?" Gimlyn genuinely asks.

Leodes sighs and paces in the room.

"Look, Gimlyn. I'm not a hero. I'm just a man who lost his soul and wants things to go back to normal, without all of this crazy stuff. Can you do that for me, or not?" Leodes asks flatly, with a frown.

Gimlyn takes a deep breath. "No, Leodes. I can't. I don't think anyone can. There's nothing that could really be done to restore you to what you would consider a normal existence. Your body died 4 years ago, and is probably rotting in a crypt, if not destroyed entirely. Your soul is still in Coldharbour, inside a soul gem in the possession of Molag Bal. The only thing that's really left of Leodes inside of you is his memories – and I fear that, even as perfect a copy as you were created, it's likely you may not have all of your memories, and you won't realize that until you can't remember something that you should." Gimlyn frowns, and Leodes looks to the ground in silence.

"The best you could do, is perhaps get your soul back from Molag Bal, but well, whether that would kill you permanently, or restore your full memories, I couldn't say for sure. Besides, that would mean returning to Coldharbour and facing its denizens head on, and, quite frankly, you're not ready for that, at all. Not unless you train and hone your skills, and your new abilities." Gimlyn puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Divines, damn it all! I didn't ask for any of this!" Leodes shoves his hand off and faces him. "I didn't want to be a hero, I just wanted to raise a family and be happy in this world, not have to go and save it!" Leodes despairs.

"Sometimes people choose to be great. Sometimes, greatness chooses them, Leodes. What you can't choose is your power, but you can choose what you do with it. But right now, unless you learn to control it, you won't be ready to stand a chance against the forces Molag Bal will undoubtedly send to capture you. The best you can do for yourself right now is just learn to accept yourself in your new form."

Leodes shakes his head vigorously. "How can I accept what I am, when I am a damned Daedra! The very things that made me this way, the ones that want to take over the world! I am a monster!" Leodes stares at Gimlyn and breathes heavily for a few seconds, before throwing his hands up and turning away. Gimlyn lowers his head.

"Well, you're speaking to probably one of the only people, that isn't some Daedric cultist, that believes that not every Daedra is inherently evil. Whatever you are, Leodes, you can choose what that means to others. Whether that is as a monster, or as a hero. That is a choice that no one can take from you."

Leodes stands with his face staring at the floor, and his hands on his hips. After a few moments of silence, he looks up to Gimlyn.

"Alright. Well, I guess let's do this, then. Let's at least figure out what I can do, and how to do it. If I'm anything right now, it's an experiment. A test subject. I might as well accept that, at least." Leodes says with a straight face.

Gimlyn frowns, and then nods. "Fair enough." He says. He rubs his hands together and walks over to his desk, and picks up a soul gem.

"Well, I already have a few ideas." He says. "First off, we should probably figure out how to keep your clothes on when you 're-spawn'."

"Yeah, I would appreciate that." Leodes scoffs.

"I have a theory for that..." Gimlyn says, with a finger rubbing his chin. He points to Leodes with his eyes narrowed. "Do you know how bound weapons and armor are created? Or why when creating Daedric armor, smiths need a Daedra heart?"

Leodes looks at him with an unmoving face.

Gimlyn nods and turns away. "Right, right. Okay, so...When someone casts a spell to summon a bound weapon or piece of armor, what they're really doing is summoning a Daedra in the form of that object. It's really quite a terrible experience for them. Normally they don't retain conciousness, although the earliest enchanting techniques that utilized a similar procedure did, and there was a disastrous case for a Daedra-turned item in the form of a magical quill, with a Daedra called Feyfolken..."

As Gimlyn rambles on, he notices the look of impatience on Leodes. "...Anyway that's not relevant. What is, is that every piece of true daedric weaponry, armor, architecture on the planes of Oblivion, is, in some way or another, created out of the very stuf Daedra are created. Well, the entire plane is really, it's all essentially pieces of the Daedric Prince that made it – the Daedric Prince and its Plane of Oblivion are one and the same, the forms they take are just what they project themselves as."

"So...how does that help me keep my clothes on?" Leodes asks, trying to keep the topic from steering away.

"Because your body right now is made of that very same stuff. Chaotic Creatia, Coldharbour edition. So, if a mage can cast a spell that can summon vestige-unconscious chaotic creatia from Oblivion, I figure you could use the stuff of your body to create your own weapons and armor. It would essentially be an extension of your body turned into equipment, so that way when your body reforms itself when you respawn, so would it."

"Okay... let's pretend I understand that for a second...I'm not a mage. I don't know that kind of magic. How would I do that?"

"Ah, well, you see. That's the thing. For you, it wouldn't really be magic. The difficulty for the mage is to summon that stuff in the desired form from Oblivion – for you, it would be more like...manipulating your body to create a shape you want it to be. It would be more down to feeling, rather than magical prowess."

"So what, like shapeshifting?"

Gimlyn tilts his head back and forth. "...Essentially, yes. In a way. Only powerful Daedra can truly shapeshift their entire body, or a powerful mage to distort a Daedra's body in the same way. What I was going for was more like...borrowing the properties of your equipment to create a version of it out of yourself. Like, tracing a picture. You aren't drawing it yourself, but you still drew it. Does that make sense?"

"...Just tell me what I need to do." Leodes sighs and says.

Gimlyn nods. "Okay, so what you're wearing right now...Close your eyes and stand still."

Leodes does as he asks.

"Now, try to think about your clothes as being a part of yourself. Your very skin. The very creatia you're made of. Think of your body enveloping it to become a part of yourself. Reach out, and imagine the creatia inside of you becoming that."

Leodes focuses for several seconds, thinking just those thoughts. Eventually, a strange stretching sound is heard as his body feels unstable, as if his skin is made of water. He keeps his focus for a few seconds more and then opens his eyes.

He looks at himself but doesn't feel or look any different.

"Uh...Did it work?" He asks.

"Well, you did something. Your body was reforming itself, probably like when it does when you respawn. There's only one way to find out for sure."

"And let me guess, it involves me dying and having to run back here from the Wayshrine."

"Yes, but no, actually. I have an idea around that as well." He says. "You see, you return to the Wayshrines because those are focus points of anuic energy. It's where souls retreat to before they move on to Atherius after death. You don't have a soul, but your vestige thinks that it is one from your mortal subconscious memories, and so it goes through the same process – except, by the time it reaches the Wayshrine, it melds with enough anuic energy that it acts as a catalyst for your regeneration process, making it instantaneous."

"Okay..." Leodes says.

"So...if your vestige connects with a large amount of anuic energy before it reaches the Wayshrine, it will regenerate your body there instead."

"So what would we use as a large amount of 'anuic energy'?" Leodes asks.

"Ironically, soul gems. Souls contain a lot of anuic energy in them, because all mortals are descended from the Aedra. If the essence from a soul gem were to be released at the same time as your death, it would, effectively, resurrect you on the spot."

"Alright, I won't question how it works. Let's try it, then, I guess." Leodes shrugs.

Gimlyn smiles. "Indeed! I'll, uh...try to make this quick and painless, again. Also, try to stay...focused on nothing, when you die, so that your vestige stays within your corpse for the moment, instead of immediately vanishing."

"Right. Got it. Focused on nothing." Leodes nods, and closes his eyes. He braces himself, and clenches his hands.

Gimlyn pulls out a knife and brings it up to Leodes's chest, and stabs him in the heart. Leodes tries hard not to yelp from pain, and falls to the ground, lifeless. The body remains.

"Alright, let's see if this works..." Gimlyn says to himself. He casts a spell that breaks apart the soul gem, and releases the energy at Ledoes's corpse. The ray of energy recedes and hovers around Leodes's body for a few seconds, until his body turns into a blue liquid, and forms a silhouette of Leodes, standing up.

And it molds into the precise shape, and color, of his body, and his clothes.

And then solidifies.

Leodes gasps as if breathing for the first time.

"It worked!" Gimlyn shouts eagerly, raising a fist in the air.

Leodes looks at his hands, his body, and his clothes, in complete awe and amazement.

"Wow, that felt...strange. It was a strange sensation. Like I was still here, but I wasn't, until I was." Leodes says, shakily.

Gimlyn laughs and clasps him on the shoulder, smiling. Leodes smiles back.

Suddenly the pain of a dagger being stabbed in him returns.

_Please...no, don't do this! I have a family!_

And then his throat being sliced.

_Just ask me something!... Just say something! What do you want from me!?_

Leodes stumbles away from Gimlyn, aching in pain. He trips over a chair and falls on his back.

And the pain of a sword being thrust through him returns.

_Please, not in front of him!_

"Leodes, what's happening? Are you okay?" Gimlyn shouts. He reaches down to pull him up. Leodes looks in his eyes.

_I'm sorry, I'll try to make this as quick and painless as possible._

The dagger stabs him in the heart. Leodes spazzes out uncontrollably.

"Make it stop!" Leodes shouts. "Make the pain stop!"

_Right. Got it. Focused on nothing._

Water splashes into his face, and he's completely drenched. He opens his eyes to see Gimlyn standing above him with a bucket, dripping with water.

Leodes breathes in and out slowly, and looks at his hands, now trembling. The pain lessens, until after a few seconds, it fades away completely.

"Leodes." Gimlyn says. "Leodes. What happened? Are you okay now?" Gimlyn asks, holding out a hand for him. Leodes looks at him. "I don't know." He says.

He lets Gimlyn pull him up, his legs feel weak, as if it's been a long time since he stood.

Gimlyn pulls up a chair for him to sit down in, and he does.

"What was happening?" He asks once more, after some silence.

Leodes shakes his head, keeping his distant gaze. "I don't know...It was like...I was experiencing all of my deaths again. I felt all of the pain, and I had memories from them that I didn't remember before. It...happened the last time too, but not before that. Both times, I felt like I remembered more of what happened. Both times, it felt more real than before."

Gimlyn nods slowly. "Ah...I see." He says quietly, and with sorrow.

Leodes looks up at him. "You know what's happening to me?" He asks desperately.

"No...but I have a theory. If I were to guess, it might be a way that your mind is accepting that you're still alive. Normally traumatic memories like that are repressed right before death since the mind can't deal with them as it's shutting down, that's why you didn't remember your other deaths very clearly before, but now, as your body is...getting used to dying...it's bringing those memories back. I fear this may go on for a time. It won't last forever, I'm sure, but in the meantime, I would strongly advise refraining from experiencing a very painful death, or else it may drive your mind to the brink of madness when you revive, and experience it again in its true, full entirety. You would go feral, like the Soul Shriven, from that experience." Gimlyn says in a serious, daunting tone.

"Yeah...Okay...Avoid dying a horribly painful death. Great advice." Leodes says grimly.

"Anyway, this is just the beginning, Leodes, there's so much more to explore with this kind of power! I wonder...If you were to stay alive without reforming your body for decades until you died of old age...if you died then from that, would your body just reform back to your current, 20-something self, when you originally died?" Gimlyn rambles.

"Gimlyn." Leodes says.

"What about if someone chopped your hand off, and then you died later on. Would the hand dissipate from where ever it was, or would it remain. Could you, theoretically, cut your own arm off, create enough distance, die, and then come back to have another arm that you could use as a weapon?" Gimlyn rambles on.

"Gimlyn!" Leodes raises his voice.

"Oh, yes? What is it?" Gimlyn turns to look at him.

"Did you ever figure out why no one could recognize me? You said that wasn't normal for a Soul Shriven." Leodes asks.

"Ah, yes. Right. I did say that...And I still stand by it. I've thought about it more, actually, and I think it's possible that someone cast an illusion spell of sorts on you, that scrambles the image of your face when seen by others."

"The Daedra did that? Why?" Leodes asks incredulously.

Gimlyn shrugs. "Some aspects of the minds of the Daedra will always remain a mystery, even to me."

"Well, can you remove it?" Leodes asks.

"I'm not too practiced in the arts of Illusion magic, but if I know this type of spell, I know that it doesn't last long. Depending on when it was cast on you, I can't imagine it lasting longer than, at the very latest, early tomorrow morning." Gimlyn says.

"So you mean...I could still go and see my family..." Leodes says slowly.

"You could...But would you want to?" Gimlyn asks.

Leodes scoffs. "Of course I want to! Why wouldn't I? They're my family. All I've ever wanted to do since I came back was to be with them, except all of this other stuff kept me from doing that."

Gimlyn nods and turns away.

"Right. Right... So, the next thing we should do, is-" Gimlyn says, cut off by Leodes.

"Actually, you know what? It's getting pretty late and dark out. It's been a long day for me, returning to Tamriel, learning that I'm...something and that I can do this thing. I think I'm going to go and have a few drinks, relax, and well, appreciate that I'm still alive to some extent." Leodes says.

"You're still a wanted criminal though, you know," Gimlyn says.

"Yeah, well, being a guard for years, you learn a few things...like where to go to have a drink to avoid guards. There's a certain place a bunch of the regular criminals hang out, and don't care about who's after you. I wouldn't be allowed down there as a known guard, but they won't recognize me yet, right?" Leodas says.

"Hmm. Yes, I suppose. I know of the place you speak. Good source for the more difficult to acquire ingredients for my spells and rituals. Alright, then. I suppose I can work on creating Soul Gems that will break by themselves when you die, in the meantime. That way you won't need me to resurrect you on the spot." Gimlyn says.

"Yeah...Gimlyn, you do that. Oh, by the way...I'm kind of broke. Mind if I borrow some drakes for it?" Leodes asks.

Gimlyn sighs. "Sure, I suppose." He unwraps his coin pouch and plants it into Leodes's hands.

"Thanks. Good man-er, elf." He pats him on the shoulder, pulls up his hood and walks out of the Inn room.

"Oh, by the way, Leodes," Gimlyn says, just before Leodes closes the door. "Considering your predicament...I would advise against drinking too much. Drinking does not in-fact make you feel better about what you've lost, it just makes it worse once you sober up."

Leodes scoffs and shuts the door.


End file.
